Will you ever know version 2
by storyteller41
Summary: I didn't particularly like the first version so here's the second.


**Will you ever know? Version 2**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters**

**A/N: I decided I didn't quite like the way the first version turned out; therefore I'm going to rewrite it with some adjustments**

Sam Manson wasn't the same girl anymore. The girl who always told her opinions no matter what, who got mad at Tucker for his obsession with meat, and got mad at Danny for mooning over Paulina and Valerie was gone. She had too much heartache, too many broken dreams, and too many unhappy endings. She'd changed over the years. At first those changes were slight and hardly noticeable. First she went from a belly shirt to a tee-shirt that didn't show her belly, and then came long sleeves. Next her miniskirt was replaced by a long skirt and later by baggy pants. She no longer wore anything without sleeves. She was still an ultra-recylo vegetarian, but she didn't bug Tucker and Danny about eating meat like she used to. She just quietly ate her salad without comment. She still walked with them to and from school, but it was like she was an empty shell just going through the motions.

She used to wear other colors besides black such as green and purple, but those were gone too. She went from wearing her trademark makeup to wearing no makeup at all. Her eyes became vacant seemingly staring at nothing. In class she just stared out the window or doodled in her notebook. She never volunteered information or answered questions willingly. She didn't argue with Mr. Lancer about the rights of students or anything else she would have beforehand. She still helped Danny fight the ghosts with Tucker, but she usually stood there leaning against wall with the Fenton Thermos looking bored. She'd leave right after the ghost(s) were caught.

Paulina still called her 'Goth Freak' and 'Loser' and other demeaning names, but it seemed like Sam didn't pay any attention. Tucker no longer got bruises for being callous and speaking without thinking. 'We're not Lovebirds' was only said by Danny and said not nearly as frequently as before. Sam still hung out with them the same as usual, but it always seemed like her mind was elsewhere.

What they didn't know, what nobody knew, was what went on inside her head. She wrote in this little black book every chance she got, once she was done with her homework, before she went to school, and before she went to bed. That little black book never left her side and was written in often. They didn't know what she wrote in it because she never shared what was written in it with anyone.

After something particularly crazy happened, Danny decided to look in on her. He phased into her room but stayed invisible. He saw many holes along her walls and saw her punch another one. She opened a drawer and took out some glass objects. She threw them against the wall and at the floor. She watched them shatter seemingly in a trance not moving out of the way of the little glass fragments. Then she went into her bathroom and watched off the blood that was caused by the flying glass. After she came out, she took her little black book out of her hiding place and started writing in it with an intensity that was seldom seen in her anymore. Danny decided to come back when she was asleep so that he wouldn't alert Sam to what he was doing.

He came back a few hours later to find her asleep. He was glad that in his ghost form he could see in the dark. (I don't know if it's like that in the story, but I'm taking creative liberties if it isn't.) He got the little black book out of the hiding place that it was in and flipped it open. On the first page was a poem that went like this:

_Will you ever know what my heart's been through_

_Chasing after you_

_It's broken and bleeding_

_and I'm really needing_

_Someone to mend my broken heart_

_You don't even know that you're the one who shattered it with a poisoned dart_

(A/N: I made that up myself. It's mine.)

He turned to the next page with wide eyes. He never knew that Sam felt like that.

_Can life get any worse? Yeah, it can. My parents left me. Yeah they leave me here when they go on vacations and business trips, but this time they left me for good. I came home from school to find a note. I thought it would be the usual note that I get from my parents 'Samantha, we're going to Italy for three months. See you when we get back. Love, Mother and Father.' That's how it usually goes down, not necessarily Italy. This time it was different. I found a note thinking that it was the usual thing, but no. This is what it said, 'Samantha, we're sorry, but you're too much to handle; therefore, we're moving but not taking you with us. We'll still pay the bills every month. It's not as if we can't afford two mansions. We'll also leave some spending money for you. Just think of it as having your own place. Not to worry, we didn't take your grandmother with us; she'll still live with you. Love, Mother and Father' My grandmother will still live with me my foot. They conveniently forgot that my grandmother has already moved out because of them. I live by myself in this mansion and nobody has a clue. Some people would say that I'm lucky, but I just feel lonely. Sam_

Danny turned the page again.

_Today was the first time I punched a hole in the wall. It's not like I'll get into trouble for it, there's nobody here. I also threw a glass figurine that my parents had gotten me once after a trip. The glass shattered and embedded themselves into my skin. The pain felt exhilarating. I looked down and saw that I was bleeding. Watching your blood flowing down your body is pretty relaxing actually. It seemed to calm me down after throwing and punching things. I feel just a little tiny bit better now. Sam_

This time he turned to the middle.

_Guess what. I talked to my grandmother. She's moving to the Caribbean. I hadn't told her that my parents left me. That's a little embarrassing, being too much to handle. I understand though, I wouldn't want to deal with me either, if I could help it I wouldn't. Even my friends seem to like it better when I keep my mouth shut. Tucker probably likes it that he doesn't get beat up half the time. I don't respond to hardly anything. It only leads to more problems. Everybody hates me as it is, why make it worse? Most of the time I think I'm just taking up space in this world. I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute to society, not that many teenagers do but they at least know they have a purpose that will some day become clear. I don't have that luxury. I don't think I have a purpose and if I do then it's so far buried that no one will ever find it. Should I really take up space and use up oxygen that other people, people with purposes, would have so much use for? Sam_

He turned a few more pages.

_I'm so angry and upset and whatever emotions I feel. You'd think that my friends would notice that I'm changing. You'd think that they'd notice that I need help. I need saving and I need my friends to notice and care about me. Is it really a necessity for me to get none of these things. The whole school laughed at me. It wasn't just my grade, that's usual. It was the whole entirety of the highschool. I thought that Danny and Tucker would stick up for me, okay maybe not, but at least not join in on the laughing at me. Not only did they conform to the standards of the shallow high schoolers of Casper High and laugh at me with them, but they also kept bringing it up again and laughing over and over again. So much for friends sticking together. Do they even think of me as a friend anymore? I didn't react. I'm not willing to fuel the fire in order for them to have more things to get me on. I'd rather be known as emotionless, hard-skinned, nonfeeling, whatever else they want to call me than to let them know how much that hurt me. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will hurt me.' Yeah right. 'The pen is mightier than the sword.' Words can be like swords cutting into you until your nothing but a mass pile of blood. This seems to be confirming my waste of space theory. The whole thing that's been written has been confirming it. Sam_

Once again Danny flipped a page.

_It's official. I'm a waste of space with no purpose in life. I'm taking up oxygen and space that could be used for so much more than I could use it for. Everyone will be better off without me. I mean I seem to be invisible except for when people want to torment me, that it makes pretty good sense. I won't be wasting space and people with purposes will be more likely to thrive with the extra oxygen. Maybe that's a messed up theory because having more oxygen might make you act strange, but more people could possibly survive. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Everybody's happiness is more important than my own. I don't even know how to be happy anymore. It's too late, I can't be saved. Nobody has tried to save me and nobody will. I'm tired of feeling like this. Sad and alone I have lived, sad and alone I shall die, but at least the last thing I do will make others happy. Sam P.S. This is the last entry that I will probably ever write._

Danny put the book away wide eyed and terrified. He flew right away to Tucker's house and woke him up. They discussed Sam and what they could possibly do, but nothing really came to mind. The next day they tried to pay more attention to her, but it didn't work as well as they had hoped. They all walked to their respective homes as they had everyday. When they reached Sam's house Sam hugged both of them tightly and let go. Then she kissed them both on the cheek. She said, "Goodbye guys. You guys had been really good friends until recently and I really appreciate that you guys were friends with me." Then she ran into her mansion without another glance back. (A/N: the 'until recently' was said under her breath so they didn't hear that part.)

"That was really weird." Danny said.

"Yeah it was. Should we be worried, Danny?"

"Yeah, but I think that we should talk to her about it tomorrow."

"I guess." Tucker said doubtfully.

The next day they went to Sam's to pick her up for school. She didn't come to the door when they knocked. They thought that she might have gone to the school without them, but she wasn't at the school when they got there. She hadn't missed a day of school since freshman year so they went to her house after school. She still didn't answer the door so they phased in to see if they could find her. They did. She had kept her word and committed suicide. They found her in her room with two notes. One was for Danny and Tucker and the other one was for the school.

_Danny and Tucker,_

_I couldn't take it. I was just wasting space. I didn't have a purpose in this world. I'm really glad that you guys were my friends. At the end I didn't seem to matter to you, but we had a good few years right? I hope you can remember me in a good sense, but if you can't I understand. You guys couldn't have saved me, no one could have. Don't blame yourselves for my demise just because you guys seemed to lose interest in me. I don't know if you'll find this or get this or even care, but I thought I should at least leave you a goodbye note._

_Goodbye,_

_Sam_

_To the Casper High Students:_

_If you are reading this or having it read to you it means I have succeeded and am dead. I have overheard many times people talking about me saying things like 'why doesn't she just die, no one wants her here, etc.' I have granted your wish. I didn't do what I did to make you happy, but the whole of the world. I don't feel that I have had much of an impact in your lives in life. I hope though that I can get through to you, at least a little, in death. Remember to be kind to people, it's high school, so for that I don't have high hopes. One act of kindness, however; could potentially save someone's life. It was too late to save me. I died alone and unloved. My parents and grandmother left me so I was alone. The entirety of the school seemed to hate me. I also feel like I had no purpose in this life. Once I am buried, I will no longer be only taking up space._

_Samantha Manson AKA 'Goth Geek', 'Goth Freak', 'Loser', and 'Sam'_

_P.S. You'd better call me Sam when you're making a mockery of my death._

Tucker read it over the intercom. Then he said, "Sam was one of my best friends. I hadn't noticed that Sam was in trouble. I should have noticed. I should have tried. For that I will never forgive myself."

Then it was Danny's turn. "Sam was also one of my best friend's. I knew that she was planning to do something, but I thought that I had time. I was obviously wrong. I hadn't noticed that anything was wrong until two days ago. I should have known. Could we have saved her? We'll never know. This is also something that we can learn from. If we think that something's wrong with someone, then we should tell someone or do something about it. If we knew and did nothing, then it could end in disaster. In this case it ended in Sam's death. I will never forgive myself and I'll never forget Sam. I doubt that Tucker will either."

Everyone ceased talking and listened intently to what was being said. The memories of Sam would fade over time to most of the students, but for some she'd always hold a special place in their hearts.

_A/N: What did you think? Did you like the first version or this version better? I took into consideration some of the reviews and ideas that were given to me and came up with this. I'd be grateful if you'd tell me your honest opinions._


End file.
